Posts Tagged ‘From’

Can Retailers Stop Amazon From Turning Their Stores Into Mere Showrooms?

Posted on January 26th, 2012 • Filed under Look • No Comments

The online retail giant’s PriceCheck app is stealing sales from retailers physical stores. Can retailers mitigate this by using digital to drive a higher in-store conversion rate?

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Sexts from Patricia Lockwood

Posted on January 25th, 2012 • Filed under Look • No Comments

Image by altffour

Editor’s Note: “”Tricia
u MUST join Twitter to network with Poets” *tricia joins twitter, falls in
with a million Comedy Fuckers, forgets what poem even is*” — @TriciaLockwood, September
2, 2011

Patricia Lockwood is
an actual poet—published in the New Yorker, even!—who has inappropriately touched the imaginations of a thousand
followers with her “sexts.” Born around the time of the Anthony Weiner scandal,
the genre congeals gobs of glowing poetry from networked life’s greasy stew of
blunt spam copy, collaged pop culture, and constant little spells of
titillation. This is a selection of Lockwood’s hottest sexts.

 

---

 

A ghost teasingly takes off his sheet. Underneath he is so
sexy that everyone screams out loud

Do you smell like a mousetrap? I am a cruel woman and I
simply adore the smell of mousetraps

A Teenage Turtle takes extreme pleasure from sticking his
head in and out of his shell very slowly while a rat watches

Midnight. My wife and children are asleep. Breathlessly I
begin to search for my favorite kind of porn: “Women Standing in Big
Jeans”

THE BIGGEST WOMEN IN THE TIGHTEST JEANS!!! U WONT BELIEVE
YOUR EYES! THESE WOMEN SIMPLY CANT GET ENOUGH STANDING AROUND IN BIG JEANS!

These jeansluts stand up really straight with their tits
out, holding the jeans as far away from their bodies as possible! SO RAW

This girl wants a denim vest, a denim scrunchie, and denim
Keds — are YOU the sicko who’s going to give them to her

You are miniature, and I put you in the bell of a saxophone
and play a long soulful B-flat

I am Everest and I JO while a 100-year-old grampa tries to
climb me. At the moment he reaches my peak I produce a thunderous rockslide

I am FWB with Scrooge McDuck. He asks me to pretend to rob
him. “IS IT A BEAGLE BOY,” he gasps, as I break into his money bin

“I’m so wet,” you murmur. Marmaduke raises his
glistening face. “That’s because I’m famous for drool,” he laughs

Easy-Listening Dracula drinks the blood of a saxophonist. He
smiles and feels the mellow blood spread through him like smooth jazz

I am a Charmin bear. You are a bear trap that is baited with
a soft roll of toilet paper. I step inside you and “lose” my
“leg”

I am a mushroom in a forest. There are drops of dew all over
my tip. Nabokov reaches down a hand to pick me

I teach an African Grey Parrot to sext. He sexts at the
level of a two-year-old — “mama, mama, mama”

I guess the number of gumballs in a jar. I’m off by just one
gumball. “I’m pink,” it whispers, & then leaps into my mouth
& chews me

I repeatedly crush dollhouse furniture under my feet until I
feel “big enough”

A leprechaun sits in a pot o gold. He removes gold pieces 1
by 1 to reveal his nudity. At the end he tears off his beard. It’s a woman

An elephant picks up his 1000000th peanut. Whoops, it is the
orange candy. He sucks it up his trunk and tastes sugar for the 1st time

The year is 1960 and I am Cary Grant. Kinetic typography
sneaks up and fingers me. It writes STARRING CARY GRANT all up in my guts

I am a living male turtleneck. You are an art teacher in
winter. You put your whole head through me

Rainbow go into a prism and it shoot SO MUCH white light

You walk into the bathroom and see a baby in a tuxedo peeing
at one of the urinals. He turns around and smiles. It’s Jordy

You unzip and begin to tinkle like a man. Jordy looks over
and his eyes get huge. He begins to cry. “It’s hard to be a baby,” he
sobs

I kill a big wasp with an Animorphs book. When I turn the
book over there’s a baby leg stuck to it! Animorphs are real

The word “gaylord” falls in love with another word
that means the same thing. His dad Shakespeare CRIES with joy when he tells him

I play Whac-A-Mole and all the moles let me whac them. They
rise up to meet me, they desire nothing more than to be whac

You get a Tyra Mail that tells you the date of your death.
You scream uncontrollably in the voice of an excited model

Mavis Beacon bursts out of the computer and shows me where
to put my fingers

Mavis Beacon urges my fingers to move faster, faster, and
ever faster. “80 words a minute or your money back,” she whispers

“Type this random sequence,” instructs Mavis
Beacon. The letters T-E-A-C-H-E-R W-A-N-T-S T-O F-R-E-E-K appear before my eyes

Mavis Beacon’s neck gets long & she bursts out of her
clothes. She was a bronto all along. “Type my new name APATOSAUR,”
she thunders

I read “The Monster at the End of This Book” to
you. Together we turn the final page. Surprise, I cut a hole in it to put my d
through

I go up to heaven and open God’s Bible. It contains only a
single sext: “Im hard”

 

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Senate leaders from both parties back away from PROTECT IP

Posted on January 19th, 2012 • Filed under Learn • No Comments

The PROTECT IP Act continued to suffer serious blows on Thursday as both the Senate Majority Leader and the Senate Minority Leader made moves that further damaged the anti-piracy bill’s chances of passage. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) will not seek to use his leverage over other Democrats to ensure the Protect IP Act gets enough votes to overcome a filibuster. Meanwhile, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) joined other Republican senators in blasting Reid for rushing the legislation to the Senate floor.

Ordinarily, party leaders use their leverage over their members to “whip” them into voting in line with the rest of their caucus. But according to Politico, “Reid won’t whip Democratic votes for an online anti-piracy bill, according to sources familiar with his plans.” That means Democrats will feel free to oppose the bill without worrying that they will be denied future favors by party leaders.

“The decision deals a severe blow to movie, music and television producers, who had hoped to withstand a surprisingly strong Silicon Valley surge against the bill,” Politico reports.

Meanwhile, on the Republican side, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell joined the growing chorus of Republican Senators accusing Reid of rushing the bill through the Senate without adequate debate.

“While we must combat the on-line theft of intellectual property, current proposals in Congress raise serious legal, policy and operational concerns,” McConnell said. “Rather than prematurely bringing the Protect IP Act to the Senate floor, we should first study and resolve the serious issues with this legislation.”

He urged the Democratic leadership to “reconsider its decision to proceed to this bill.”

For more details on the “serious issues” with PIPA, Sen. Reid might want to ask his staff to check out our coverage from yesterday.

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Read the original post on Ars Technica

 

Why the video pros are moving away from Apple

Posted on January 15th, 2012 • Filed under Learn • No Comments

Six months after the launch of Final Cut Pro X (FCPX), Apple’s major overhaul to its professional video editing software Final Cut Pro, video pros find themselves increasingly looking at other software options. The new version of Final Cut Pro was controversial—there were significant changes to the Final Cut interface, a plethora of editing features were taken away, and worst of all, Final Cut Pro X was rendered unable to import projects from previous versions of the software. For video editors and producers with years of work using Final Cut Pro, the launch of Final Cut Pro X made it seem like Apple no longer cared for its market of creative professionals.

Is that still the case now, half a year later? TV production company Bunim/Murray recently brought the issue back into the public consciousness by announcing that it was switching from Final Cut Pro to Avid, noting that the company needed “a partner who would understand our long-term needs.”

As it turns out, the reaction to Bunim/Murray’s announcement from creative pros was, “took them long enough.” We spoke to a handful of professionals who work in the video production industry to see how they’re feeling now that the dust has settled, and the general consensus appears to be “not good.”

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Read the original post on Ars Technica